It seems that Maurice Glasman, high-minded academic and “Blue Labour” guru to party leader Ed Miliband, won’t after all be writing a political column for Rupert Murdoch’s new Sunday edition of the Sun, despite all the rumours. This is a terrible shame, as I have obtained a leaked draft of Glasman’s first column.

The Guru: Giving it to YOU straight, about the renewal of community and the fight for democratic association to resist the power of capital.

Lead item: Loopy Labour loses the plot

Is it just me, or has Labour got itself stranded in Keynesian orthodoxy? For 15 years the party was imprisoned in a neo-liberal straight-jacket of spiritually hollow, wealth-obsessed, commoditised, consumerist supposed certainties, but under Ed Miliband’s leadership it briefly broke free. Now Labour has imprisoned itself again.

It is afraid of new thinking. It is a slave to crude demand management in the economy.

It makes me sick.

Labour should be well ahead of the Tories. The party is staring at an open goal. Cam is a sham.

Someone once said, Gramsci I think (subs please check), that the old is dead and the new is not yet born. And in the meantime all kinds of morbid symptoms emerge, including the fraternisation of impossibles.

You can’t argue with that.

2nd item: Adele-icious revenge

What were ITV’s fat-cat bosses thinking when they forced TV’s roly-poly funny man James Cordon to cut-off Adele in her prime at the end of the Brits?

All so we could see the News at Ten. Boing! Why waste your time on that old show when Sky News is available with rolling coverage of the top stories around the clock.

The Brits was supposed to be the crowning glory of an incredible 12 months for Britain’s favourite singer since Duffy. But ITV bosses blew it.

Luckily Adele got sweet revenge by flicking the middle finger at the suits who had ruined her big moment.

Still, as I said to my mate down the pub: In an age in which media is ever more fractured, when communal national shared experiences are all too rare, we should be striving to treasure the few opportunities we are offered to celebrate unifying cultural achievements.

Shame on you ITV.

3rd item: Obama getting satisfaction

US President Barack Obama last week welcomed blues stars to the White House and was EVEN serenaded by Mick Jagger.

Obama looked like a billion dollars and sang along.

The President WAS facing a tough race for re-election this year. The American economy WAS down the toilet, with a range of traditional industries first sucked into the globalisation vortex and then finished off by the collapse of the banking system and the end of the neo-liberal orthodoxy. Things looked tough for Obama, the boy from sweet home Chicago.

But not now. The economy is up off its knees. And the Republican challengers look set to pick a fruitcake no-hoper (although Rick Santorum reminds us that for too long we have sought to shut religion and faith out of politics, a mistake when it contains the possibility of community-based cooperation that sits outside the sphere of bureaucratic big government).

The President is flying high and is on course for a second term.

The Republicans aren’t devils, but you gotta have sympathy for them being up against this cool vote-winning machine.